Children

We have been struggling with one of our children not doing well in school. It's been difficult. First grade. Trying to get him to sit down and study or do homework is like asking him to climb Mt Everest. That actually would probably be easier! Seriously! We are trying to work with the school to get him more help and he's too smart for that help I guess. It's taken months just to learn that. I requested him to be tested early November or late October. In the meantime he continues to struggle. Just sitting down with him to go over spelling words is like we are asking him to eat live snakes! I think he may have ADD. He's not hyperactive but has trouble focusing. I wish the teacher would just say "I think he has such and such and this is what you should do.". But they are too polite to come out and say that. So they leave it up to us to decide how far he slips behind. He has to do horrible to get help. His class has 30 kids with one teacher and no aides. Parents help out every day but he's no match for me, let alone a parent who doesn't care if he finishes his work or not. He needs a better ratio than that to succeed. I'm just beyond frustrated and horribly saddened. Im just in tears because I want him to do well but he just can't seem to in this environment.

So my plan is to call the doctor tomorrow and get him tested through that avenue and cross my fingers and hope for some kind of diagnosis. It's not that I hope they say he is clueless and needs a ton of help. I just want to know why he is struggling so much.

I've thought of doing homeschool with him and I'm sorry to say he pushes me beyond my patience. Screaming and flailing around when he doesn't want to do something. He also is the worst eater on the planet. Screams and throws a fit when we ask him to just taste something new. It's torture every dinner time.

Coincidently enough I was taking classes towards my masters degree in special education. When I saw how frustrated I got with him and the other children in his class when I go in to help each week, I decided to say to hell with my degree. I'm not cut out for this. Threw away a lot of money in getting as far as I did but I figured it's not my cup of tea. It's not. I was way to frustrated to help him let alone others like him. It's dumb of me probably but if I were younger with no kids of my own I probably would have done better. As it is dealing with him daily is very hard to keep my composure. So I'd have less to give him if I were around other kids who struggled daily. I know it's a cop out. I need to be there for my kids first and foremost. And do what I can to get them from point A to point B in life. Sigh.... Just hard to do!